Person Building

In such a pressurized environment of the demands, I have reduced to ashes -- by everyday's pressure. There has always been turmoil - to change myself for better and to improve. It has always been a constan pressure "within". There is an urge to improve and optimize. Then there is external pressure. Job demand, family demand, social demand. And it all creates a tussle. And the impact is that not everything is achieved or met and eventually I feel frustrated.

In the frustration, the ideas, the goals -- all gets sidelined. The journey stops, rather retreats.

But again this is not permanent (may be because of the mental conditioning since childoohd). The continous search within, pushes to come back. Come back like a fighter and with the least expectation of achieving anything. Feel like a martyr, who knows that he will be a martyr, but then give an extra, the last kick/effort to impact.

This is a characterstic of the person building -- never give up attitude.

So, I have this attitude, but then I am missing some other characteristics which is making me weak.

They are:
- discpline
- clear goal
- do not know what are my talen and non-talent areas
- time management

Probably the biggest problem is the time management or discipline. Then second aspect is that I am taking liefe so seriously. Not enjoying the life. Feels that I have to complete a duty and come back again to compelte another duty.

Stopping here...

It's raining heavily and want to go and enjoy... if my sweet heart allows!

Pahala khat

Aaj shuruat kar raha hooo, is khamoshi me, apane se hi baat karne ki
phir se, kai saal baad, kuchh kahane, kuchh samajhane ki.
koshish kar raha hooo....
aur likh raha hoo, mai apana pahala khat,
khud ko hi.....
Meri-Kalam-Se.....Pahala khat......Sahir